Three things happened this week to spark a conversation amongst some friends about how a woman president would revolutionize fashion.
First, a coworker texted me the following:
Two, I watched this week’s episode of Scandal. It’s the first episode I’ve seen in a few years and I am obviously behind, but it was on after Grey’s Anatomy so I kept watching. I heard Mellie called Madam President for the first time and it felt like I was simultaneously punched in the stomach and stabbed in the heart. It was the same feeling I had last December when I watched the episode of Madam Secretary where Elizabeth McCord was sworn in as President temporarily. It was weeks after the 2016 election and it hurt all over again… but it also got me thinking about the idea of a woman President.
Three, I listened to the War Powers episode of the podcast What Trump Can Teach Us About Con Law, where they talk about the Biscuit and the time Reagan was without it while having surgery at GW Hospital Post-gunshot wound. The nurses had to cut his suit jacket off, and the Biscuit was in his suit jacket pocket.
All of this got me thinking about how a woman President would carry the Biscuit.
Before I go any further, let’s talk about the Biscuit. The Biscuit is a credit card sized piece of plastic with the Gold Codes, or the verification codes that confirm the identity of the president. It is used in conjunction with the Football, a black briefcase that contains important information and communication technology to be used to communicate the president’s plan and launch a strike. The president is to carry this card with them at all times. However, there have been a variety of mishaps that have lead to that not always being the case — like the time President Bill Clinton misplaced the Biscuit for months.
If there were ever a time that the president would have to launch nuclear weapons, there is an established, complex system in place that requires the president to confirm their identity using this code. If they do not confirm their identity, the nuclear weapons are not deployed. What happens if the president loses their card or is otherwise incapacitated? You can read more about the hypothetical situation here.
(We can have a separate conversation later about how calling the briefcase a Football is a holdover from a testosterone filled government in the 1960s… the name “The Football” comes from a nuclear war plan code-named “Dropkick” and in order to do a dropkick, you needed a football. Men.)
But anyway, yes. The Biscuit is an important item that the president must carry with them.
So… when a woman is elected president, she will have to keep it on her at all times. For any woman, the natural question is how to carry the Biscuit? Women’s clothing are rarely made with pockets capable of carrying anything larger than a tampon (if you’re lucky) — and that’s if the article of clothing has pockets at all! While I would just stick it in my bra, I recognize that may not be the most dignified place to keep the verification code that would allow you to launch the United States’ nuclear weapons.
How could a woman president carry the Biscuit — in her bra? In one of those travel pouches that hooks on your bra? (This would work fine, but can you imagine the press that would come out after the president needed an aide to help her get the Biscuit out of a pouch strapped to her chest? How the right would LAUNCH into how inappropriate it was that a woman had to reach into her shirt to pull out the codes?) She could also carry it in her purse, but purses are easy to leave behind or pass from person to person… and the Biscuit is not something that should be in the hands of random advance staffers who the team may or may not know well. Maybe she would settle on the pouch or suck it up and carry a purse everywhere, but I would hope the real answer is more transformative than that… I believe that a woman president would cause a fashion revolution. What is the revolution, you may ask?
Pockets.
Pockets is the fashion revolution.
Just think about it — a woman president has to carry the Biscuit on her at all times. She gets briefed and thinks “where the fuck am I going to keep this thing?” So she calls up a former president whom she’s friendly with (let’s say Barack Obama) and says, “Hey Barack — where did you keep the Biscuit?” and he responds “my suit jacket pocket… or pants pocket, depending on what I was wearing.” She opens her closet and pulls out outfit after outfit, evaluating her wardrobe for pockets. She’s not shocked at her findings, women’s clothing never has pockets.
So she calls together her team and says from now on, all of her clothing will have pockets in them. She has pockets added to her favorite blazers, she finds designers who will make her favorite suits with pockets in them — and pockets large enough to carry her iPhone, too.
And then she starts talking about the misogyny of the fashion industry in a random profile piece, saying that there are things she has to carry with her, but do you know how hard it is to do that when your clothing does not have pockets? She highlights the effort she went through to get pockets added to her clothing. Fox News will run some piece about how the president isn’t doing anything but talking about pockets… but pockets in clothing is something that women along the entire political spectrum can get behind.
Designers and department stores start releasing their line for the upcoming season and women are elated to find that everything has pockets — the pants, jeans, dresses, skirts. Everything has pockets. Pockets large enough to fit a cell phone. Girls who aspire to be president one day will go prom dress shopping and find that all the dresses have pockets in the skirt. Women will go out dress shopping for weddings or galas or whatever they may need a dress for and find that all of the dresses have pockets.
Pockets, my friends, will be the fashion revolution of a woman presidency. If it could have a pocket, it should have a pocket.
We often talk about “power dressing,” the idea that women dress like men, but with brighter colors or more “feminine” touches. We see this in how women in leadership roles dress today. Angela Merkel and Elizabeth Warren are both known for their black pants and bright, pantone colored blazers. Hillary Clinton wore basically the same outfit everyday on the campaign trail in 2008. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Women can — and should — be able to branch out and wear a variety of business clothes that are different than pantsuits (as much as I love pantsuits and wear them with as much regularity as a 20-something can).
Theresa May, whether you like her or not, has been outspoken on the issue of fashion for women in politics. She likes to wear fashionable shoe that are typically out of the norm for women politicians. She has told stories of women coming up to hear, letting her know that they got into politics because she was not afraid to express herself with what she wore — and that was different, and that spoke to them.
Madeleine Albright, the first woman Secretary of State, regularly talks about how she “used jewelry as a diplomatic tool” during her tenure. She used jewelry to her advantage, similar to Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s dissent collar, when dealing with different nations or political actors. Secretary Albright said that it “all started when I was ambassador at the U.N. and Saddam Hussein called me a serpent. I had this wonderful antique snake pin. So when we were dealing with Iraq, I wore the snake pin.” She continued to purchase costume jewelry and pins to signify her mood or the agenda of the day.
Jewelry, pantsuits, statement shoes — all of these are great ways for women to show their own personal flair while on the world state. But you know what else they still need? Fucking pockets.
Even the suit that Hillary Clinton wore to the Democratic National Convention did not have pockets. The woman who should have been the leader of the free world didn’t even have pockets on what was arguably one of the biggest days of her political career! A woman president could change this precedent. She could make a statement by always having pockets. She wouldn’t have to tuck her phone into the waistband of her skirt or pants, wouldn’t have to tuck the Biscuit into her bra. She could have pockets like everyone fucking should.
Pockets are political, and a woman president could have revolutionized this seemingly simple amenity into a staple for all.
TNP-TEMP 