…Or How I Accidentally Started My Biggest Twitter Fight To Date
I have this strange impulse to say that it’s a shitty time to be a woman, as if it hasn’t been shitty for a long time, as if our society isn’t founded at least in part on the subjugation of women, as if we haven’t been fighting for hundreds of years for our inherent humanity to be recognized. Still, I’m more afraid of my breaking news alerts these days than I have been at any other point during the Trump administration, let alone my time owning an iPhone.
It’s a good thing, that we’re having this conversation. And that we are exposing powerful men who have abused that power and the people around them, and that many of them are facing consequences for their actions. And while I empathize with and admire the women who can watch this onslaught with the vindictive joy of the victorious, I’m just not there yet. I’m tired. I don’t want the next alert to be about someone whose work means something to me, who has helped create me.
I know I am the product of a misogynist world, that the art and the stories and the lessons that have built me come from a world that also tears us down. Perhaps it isn’t a bad thing that this now confronts us almost daily, but it is also a painful thing, a hard thing. With every revelation is another thread to unwind, another piece of the knot where you wonder if it’s better to just cut the damn thing off rather than spend days and weeks untangling it. To be a woman is to never really be one hundred percent sure whether your complicated feelings are nuance or internalized misogyny. Like this:
Last week, someone yelled at me on Twitter for trivializing their sexual assault.
After Al Franken resigned, I came across this statement:
Democrats will rue the day they demanded @alfranken resign. They’ve given into the conflation of crimes (Weinstein, Moore) and power abuse (bosses) with boorishness. It won’t get more women voters and will lose more anti- PC men. Sucker’s game.
And from this blog’s twitter account, I responded:
"boorishness" is still harassment, unwanted touching is still assault. To make this distinction is to suggest that there is something acceptable in touching people w/o their permission and diminishes that as a violation. just because there are degrees doesn't mean its acceptable
I don’t know this woman, and she doesn’t know me. And while I’m usually the one behind our blog twitter because I have a problem, it could have easily been one of four women, each with our own experiences, so it seems like quite an assumption she’s making. But I understand how you get there. Without knowing this woman’s story, I can only imagine how hard it was for her to come forward about the assault she experienced, what kind of backlash she faced, or questions she got. I don’t know if her attacker faced legal consequences, and I don’t know if it was a pattern or a single incident. I do know that she’s in therapy for PTSD because she told me.
Throughout the course of the conversation, her point was that going after what she called the “small” stuff allows more violent crimes to slip through. I think she’s wrong. I think that a culture which tells men that women’s bodies are up for grabs, that an unwanted hand on the ass or a forced kiss aren’t that big of a deal, is the culture that allows all kinds of violations, manipulative, violent, or otherwise. Men who grab at women without thinking about it, who don’t see through uncomfortable laughter and weak smiles to the paralyzing fear behind them, support a culture that says if you want it, you should take it. Confronting those incidents makes the point that women’s bodies are our own. We get to make the decisions about when and how we are touched. And that covers the more violent assaults too. The smaller the holes in the sieve, the less escapes our notice.
And I think that dismissing those “smaller” violations is to trivialize a different kind of violence, the kind that reminds us daily that society doesn’t see our bodies as our own. Every day can be an exercise in giving up pieces of ourselves — to the catcallers on the street, to the guy who gives you a once over in the elevator, to the fear that the person brushing up against you on the train is doing it on purpose, and what will you say if he is? Will you just stand there? The oppression that girds our society, the racism, sexism, ableism that are part of our foundations doesn’t go away when we take care of the big stuff. We ended slavery, we won the right to vote, we passed the Civil Rights Act and the Americans with Disabilities Act. But only the very delusional or the very cruel will tell you that any of those -isms have disappeared.
Still, I get where she comes from. We have been taught to dismiss our own humanity, sure, but we’ve been taught to dismiss other women’s too. And when you’re hurting and traumatized and angry, it’s not that big of a jump to think “if only he had just grabbed my ass, then maybe I wouldn’t have to live with this.” It’s not a fair thought, nor a kind one. Comparisons are odious, but we have been taught to make them. I don’t know how my hurt or my exhaustion stacks up to hers, but I have been unkind too. I have fallen into the traps they have laid for us and I have struggled to climb back out. Some days I’m not sure I have.
We went back and forth for a little while, and then eventually I stopped. Twitter is not the place for this kind of discussion. 280 characters doesn’t allow for nuance and the pace of the responses doesn’t allow for thoughtful consideration. Plus our notifications were blowing up and it was a lot to keep up with. And while Mel C. kept responding to people for a while, she never really came back to our thread. Other people were angrier — they too were less kind.
I don’t have any answers for this. I think I handled it okay, but nothing about our conversation makes me less likely to post something similar in the future. I suppose it’s worth noting that we never really know what scars people have until they show us. We can read the macro things — to be a woman is hard, to be a woman of color, a disabled woman, an undocumented woman, a trans woman or a queer woman is harder still. But we can know these things cause traumas without knowing each other’s stories, the specific shape of each other’s hurt. We can listen, and be kind, except when we can’t. And then we just have to hope that the next woman can.
Let’s face it, the holidays are an expensive time of year. Between the dinners out, parties, travel, and gifts for all your nearest and dearest, it can be hard to keep to a budget. Millennials (oh god I’m sorry for using the m word) are already strapped for cash as it is, so we’ve gathered up some favorite DIY and homemade holiday gifts that won’t break the bank.
Simple Syrups
It’s winter, which means it’s time for warm beverages. A batch of flavored simple syrups are ridiculously easy to make and are something most people don’t treat themselves to, at least at home. Just take equal parts sugar and water and heat it up until all the sugar is dissolved. The sky’s the limit when it comes to flavorings. I’m partial to mint simple syrup (it’s tasty as hell in coffee, tea, and hot chocolate), raspberry, and cinnamon. Bonus points: these can all be used in cocktails too
Coffee mug mixers
Speaking of things to put in hot beverages, I have three words: chocolate. dipped. spoons. Get yourself some plastic spoons or dig through the silverware bins at your favorite thrift store, then melt some chocolate and dunk those spoons right in. While the chocolate is setting, sprinkle with any toppings you’d like, or leave them as is.
Mulling spices
One last warm beverage thing and that’s it, I promise. A big batch of mulling spices can take care of gifts for a ton of friends. Looking for a place to buy good-quality spices? Try Penzeys. It’s more expensive, but they’re a company with fantastic values (take a look at just one of their recent Facebook posts).
A cookbook
Recipes tell you so much about someone — their history, where they’re from, what they care about. Round up your favorite recipes, write them out on card (or print them if you don’t think your handwriting is up to stuff), and tie them up with a little ribbon. Who knows, you might have just passed along your friend’s new favorite recipe!
Your favorite holiday snack recipe
Growing up, as soon as December 1 would roll around, our kitchen would be filled with pans of sugar-crusted peanuts. Mom would divvy them up and give them to everyone from her hair stylist to our school’s office administrators. Those peanuts are legendary and addictive and she only makes them around the holidays. From butter cookies to cracker snack mixes, there’s a recipe for every palate. Pick your recipe, start making and giving it every year, and you’ll have a new tradition on your hands.
A plant
Got a green thumb? Root clippings from your own plants, put them in their own little pots, and share them (along with care instructions) with family and friends!
Embroider a favorite quote
Have a stock of craft supplies that you need to be using? Bust out the embroidery supplies and stitch a favorite quote. This year has been rich with inspiration. Might we suggest “Nevertheless, She Persisted”?
Hand-dye something!
If you’re feeling a bit more daring, pick up some dyes and plain totes, napkins, or other cloth items, and dye them! A word of warning: make sure you cover everything that might take the dye. Accidentally turning your counters purple might be the next big trend, but you also might lose your security deposit if your landlord notices.
Sugar or salt scrubs
The colder weather wreaks havoc on my hands. One of my favorite gifts I got from a friend a few years ago was a little mason jar of peppermint sugar scrub. I kept it by my sink and every time my hands were feeling too rough, I’d scoop out a little bit and scrub away.
Pocket warmers
Before you toss that worn out pair of jeans, cut the fabric into squares, stitch two together to make a little pouch, and fill it with rice. Give these as a pair with instructions to pop into the microwave before heading out in the cold. These can be reused over and over again, making them infinitely better for the environment than the single-use variety!
In the past few weeks, we — the collective, ubiquitous we — have spent a lot of time talking about the GOP tax bill and how it will negatively impact our futures. Since the Senate passed the bill at 2am last Saturday morning, I’ve been grumpy, sad, and angry. I fear for not only my financial future, but the financial future of our generation.
While the world is on fire and the Republicans may have finally achieved their dream of cutting taxes for the rich, there is still some good in the world. There are women out there fighting to help other women better their financial futures one step at a time — and one of those groups is She Spends.
She Spends was founded by Alicia McElhaney, a business journalist in NYC. She brought together Jemma Frost and Amanda Eisenberg, and together they run the weekly newsletter and blog, all geared towards bringing forward financial news, investment advice, and spending profiles of real women. It’s a group of women helping other women — which is the most important thing we can be doing in 2017.
She Spends is dedicated to “give you actionable tools to close the wage, investing and board seat gaps.” The goal is simple: help women take on personal finance problems and the big picture money issues, two areas where women have rarely been taught the necessary skills to step into the ring. And they have an awesome statement of values and statement of inclusion listed on their website, which you can find here.
In addition to the weekly newsletter (which can hit your inbox at 8:30am every Friday, too, by clicking here to subscribe), there is a She Spends Facebook group full of engaged women ready to ask the tough questions about money and eager to hear advice and stories from other women. She Spends is actively working to build both a platform and a community. It’s women helping other women at its finest. You can join the Facebook group here.
I’m a sucker for women lead organizations and companies, women helping women, learning from other women, and communities. (See a trend here?) She Spends brings it all together, building windows and doors in areas where women have traditionally been locked out of the room. I love reading the newsletter every Friday morning, seeing the top financial news of the week, and learning how other women spend and manage their money. Additionally, I’ve known Alicia for years and know first hand the product she’s creating is top-notch quality.
To read more on She Spends, you can read Talking Biz News’ interview with Alicia here.
Interested in diving in with She Spends? Well, you can subscribe to the newsletter here, learn more about their partnership with Ellevest here, and check out the website here!
The government is going to run out of money on December 8th. For those of you frantically reaching for your calendars, that is in fact in two days. How, you ask? And, you know, why??
A few months ago, on September 13 to be exact, as we neared our last government funding deadline, Chuck and Nancy (or Senator Schumer and Representative Pelosi for those of us not limited to 140 characters) headed up to the White House so that Trump could try to sell them on a deal. What they thought might be a tough conversation or even just the beginning of a protracted negotiation turned out to be a pleasant lunch over Chinese food in which Trump gave them everything they wanted. In exchange for their votes on a much shorter continuing resolution to fund the government than the Republicans wanted, they got a promise that Trump would help the DACA recipients whose lives he had so recently upended. As we near the deadline on that CR (December 8th), the budget fights that led us to that moment could very well come to a head.
Or we could force it.
The Republican Party has liked to claim for some time now, to be a “big tent” party. In theory, this means they celebrate diverse viewpoints and people with different policy ideas. In practice, this means they welcome anyone as long as they will vote for tax cuts for the super wealthy, and they enjoy an absurdly awkward kind of power. They can get a president elected, but they can’t repeal the Affordable Care Act. They can (maybe) pass some kind of Frankenstein’s monster of a tax reform bill, but they can’t pass a budget. Because they are the party of “moderates” who want to cut spending but not that much, and those who would really enjoy a more feudal system of government, their budget priorities are often in conflict.
Instead of trying to pass a budget by this Friday (because apparently there are some bills they don’t want to try to force through in the middle of the night), the current GOP plan is to pass another continuing resolution — one that would expire on December 22 instead. And in an attempt to push that to December 30, some of those medieval reprobates, the House Freedom Caucus, those purveyors of “unfettered capitalism,” almost killed the tax bill.
If strategy of the Freedom Caucus sounds confusing, it’s because it is. And no clear explanation pops up on the first two pages of a google search. But many suspect that they are afraid that the pressure of passing a spending bill before Christmas will force their GOP colleagues to cave to a raw deal.
Cave to whom, you ask? Surely not the Democrats, those losers of elections. Those impotent defenders of health care and progressive tax codes. Surely not Chuck and Nancy, nor those cloying masses shouting about insurance mandates and frantically explaining CSR payments to their friends.
Yes, my friends. They fear us.
Republicans walk a rather precarious tightrope. Make their bill too friendly to the would-be feudal overlords and they risk losing more “moderate” Republicans in purple districts. Tilt too closely to those “moderates” and they lose the Freedom Caucus. It’s a constantly shifting balancing act — how many people, exactly, can we screw over before we lose too many votes to screw anyone over. With health care, they lost that fight. With tax reform, they are terrifyingly close to winning it. But very often, when the Freedom Caucus sticks to its guns and refuses to pass anything short of draconian, Republicans need Democrats to pass the budget.
What does this mean for us?
Well, we can’t shut down the government. We’re not in charge here. We don’t have the votes to do anything (something more vicious critics of the Democrats would do well to remember). But we can demand that our members of Congress refuse to vote for a budget unless certain demands have been met — a DREAM Act with a path to citizenship for one. Funding for CHIP. The Alexander-Murray bipartisan deal to stabilize the insurance markets. If Republicans need our help to keep the government going, they are going to have to give us a little something first.
Because if they can’t do it with their own party, which controls both the executive and the legislative branches, well, that sounds like a personal problem.
Of course, it’s not. Many of us remember the government shutdown of 2013. National Parks close, many who work in government have to stay home or work without pay, EPA inspections stop, and the blame game makes Twitter even more toxic than usual. A government shutdown is a problem that belongs to all of us. But some things are more important. Like health insurance for children. And a strong and unambiguous fix to the underground economy we have allowed to exist under our noses, that we have benefited from, that we have taken advantage of, and that is built on the blood and sweat, tears and separate families, of the undocumented Americans who have made their home here.
Those of us who live in blue states have called our members of Congress, have pestered our friends, have gotten drunk and wailed into the night about our futility. We drink our wine, and we tweet at Senators who have no obligation to listen to us. We try to raise a groundswell, but it’s kind of hard from our skyscrapers. Well, now it’s our turn. We have leverage here, and we have to use it.
Call your members of Congress. Demand that they join Kamala Harris, Cory Booker, Bernie Sanders and others in refusing to vote for a government funding bill unless the DREAM Act is passed, CHIP is funded, and the ACA is stabilized.
We might not win. In fact, if “moderate” Republicans like Susan Collins, Lisa Murkowski, Jeff Flake and co. punk the fuck out again and sell their souls for the spectre of Koch donations, we probably won’t. But we have an opportunity to tell the vulnerable of this country, to tell the oppressed, and the hurt, and the struggling, that we won’t give them up. We owe it to ourselves, and we owe it to them. So pick up the phone, write an email, and call your friends.
We have work to do. And very little time to do it.
This is what the Republican Party stands for: NO HEALTH CARE, TAX THE POOR, FEED THE RICH, GIVE MENTALLY DISABLED ACCESS TO GUNS, ALLOW GUN SILENCERS, and the latest new edition: SEXUAL MISCONDUCT. Grab an adult or a minor, just make sure she’s a she.
How many people spent last week in a state of panic over the tax bill and calling representatives and sending ominous text messages to friends and family? Uhg. What if we lived in a world where we didn’t have to exert that kind of energy on a regular basis just to keep representatives from screwing over their constituents?!
How is it possible that the GOP is so fractured that they can’t pass a TAX CUT in broad daylight?? Without discrediting independent analysis? You don’t pass a bill that you’re proud of and easily have the votes for in the middle of the night on a Friday. The fact that this thing didn’t pass until 2am on a Saturday morning should give us all pause. It limits the news coverage and public eyes and for smaller bills up against more urgent deadlines that’s one thing… this can’t be how we get major legislation done.
Cut from the bill at the last minute were things like defining life as starting at conception (you know under the totally innocuous desire to open savings plans for unborn children… a crisis raging the nation), and taxing some (but not all) foreign airlines… Why were they pulled? B/c that’s not how you legislate.
Then just yesterday there was a moment where the Freedom Caucus was withholding consent to move to conference on the bill (which thank god is so riddled with mistakes and oversights that it HAS to go to conference and can’t just be voted on by the House) in order to push Congress towards a longer CR on the needed spending bill.
We’re at the brink of government shutdown weeks before Christmas and all because the Republican controlled Senate and House and WHITE HOUSE can’t get their shit together to pass something. And honestly… shut it down. The disruption of government programs and widespread furlough would be terrible, but it would be an albatross in the neck of the GOP they couldn’t escape. The Dems should argue for any number of righteous causes and let the pieces fall where they may.
What it all comes down to, honestly, is that this country doesn’t have leaders… we don’t have a President or Speaker or Majority Leader. What we have are criminals and accomplices.
Bob Mueller continues to be a source of hope in the darkness. What does it say about the state of our country that former aides to the President (his National Security Advisor no less) being indicted can elicit such cheers and joy? Mueller gives us hope that in some ways criminals will be held accountable for their actions. The charge of lying to the FBI is so minor in relation to what we’ve seen evidence of with regards to Flynn that we can’t help but hope he’s cooperating with the investigation and turning over evidence on people further up the food chain. And clearly people are starting to get nervous.
I had to fire General Flynn because he lied to the Vice President and the FBI. He has pled guilty to those lies. It is a shame because his actions during the transition were lawful. There was nothing to hide!
Okay so I… just… well…. This tweet (and the coordinated backpedaling) just reminds me of the Last Week Tonight bit where Donald Trump says something batshit crazy and incriminating and Jon Oliver drops the banner and pops confetti and declares that we got him. It’s a bit b/c it happens SO GODDAMN OFTEN and yet we’re still here folks… we’ll still be here for quite some time.
If Trump knew that Flynn lied to the FBI when he fired him and then proceeded to pressure Comey to let it go, he was willfully obstructing justice. Because he’s a criminal.
While we were all paying attention to the tax bill, Trump started plans to slash national monuments and basically steal national land for corporate interests.During his final days in office, Obama designated Bears Ears a National Monument. The site is considered sacred to many Native American tribes in the area and the National Monument designation protects it by limiting use. Look, it’s big for a monument. I’ll admit that. However, it’s not the largest and it’s covering many individual sites… and Trump’s decision to “free” the area of its national monument status and reopen it for potential development shows a sickening disrespect of Native peoples and their land.
And because a pedophile is better than a Democrat, the President and the RNC have gone back to fully (cough*financially*cough) supporting Roy Moore in the Alabama Senate Race. Look can’t we all just agree that someone with wide ranging accusations of sexual assault shouldn’t be allowed in the Senate? Can’t we agree that men in their thirties shouldn’t date children? Can’t we agree that ENOUGH IS ENOUGH FUCKING HELL and stop this utter embodiment of moral decay and right-wing hatred from becoming a US Senator? Fingers crossed.
Sooooooo yeah the world is burning. If you’re done shaking off the utter panic of last week and you know general disgust of the daily onslaught of new reports of terrible things the GOP is doing or backing or staying silent on, here are some things you can do:
Call your representatives and keep fighting this tax bill. 202–224–3121
Ask Congress to vote on the Dream Act before moving forward with a new spending bill. Be ready to SHUT IT DOWN unless we get some sort of concrete action for the thousands of undocumented Americans now twisting in the wind.
Find an ally! Maybe one of your cousins, or the so-called crazy aunt. Maybe the cat. You never know! Just make sure there’s someone (or some pet) you can go to when the conversation gets a little too painful.
Make a list of quick facts (or use ours!) and use it as your lock screen on your phone — “Oh I was just checking the time, but did you know that repealing the individual mandate will raise premiums by 10% and kick 13 million people off their insurance??”
We have a lot of Lessons in Politics and Deepish Dives for you, if you find yourself wading into the weeds over turkey, but if you’re digging into budget reconciliation you’ve probably gone too far. Save the details for a less fraught family affair.
Listen. Seriously, you’re probably not going to convince anyone over one dinner, particularly a holiday dinner when emotions are already running high. But you are going to get a lot farther with your friends and family if you ask questions and then listen to the answers. At the very least you’ll be better prepared to argue next time around.
Never underestimate the power of a well timed bite of stuffing.
Where ever you left things at dinner, if you want to maintain the relationships, offer to help with the dishes. In fact, don’t offer. Everyone always says “No, no! Go sit down and eat some pie!” no matter how mad at you they are. Just start doing the dishes.
Drink your wine.
Okay, not everyone drinks. But find the thing that you like — the potatoes, the pie, the cheese, the weed (only if it’s legal in your state, of course!), the books, the football (although you never know with that one these days), or the kids table — and let yourself enjoy it.
Don’t forget that you care about other things. You have craft projects, and movies, and books, and friends, and recent trips, and weird customers, and dumb bosses. I know it seems like you only exist to scroll twitter and call your Senators these days, but you are still a fully realized human. You can talk about that stuff too.
Pick your battles. Decide whether you’re going out in a blaze of glory or if you’re going to focus on one thing you think you might be able to sway a family member on. There’s a lot going on in the world, and while we have to be able to multitask, it can be overwhelming to try to have dinnertime debates about everything.
Charge your phone and take a spare battery. Do not get caught in a living room with one wall outlet that’s completely full of your sister’s and your cousin’s chargers
Hide in the bathroom. At big meal like Thanksgiving, no one’s gonna say anything if you take an extra 10mins in the bathroom. Don’t forget your (fully charged) phone!
Put on a movie, people don’t argue during movies, and sharing your love of something nostalgic will remind you that you like these people. And if you don’t like these people, it’s a good excuse not to talk to them.
Bring a board game that everyone can play post-dinner. Take everyone’s mind of the political argument you had over turkey and instead argue over hoarding sheep in Catan or scoring a 82 point word in Scrabble. But maybe avoid Monopoly unless you want to get into the tax bill again.
Take care of yourself. You know what you need, you know your family and friends. Trust yourself, enjoy your food, and be kind. You’re doing fine ❤
Welcome to Trump’s America, where everything hurts and the facts don’t matter! Except they do — you know that and so do we. Whether you’re fighting with your relatives this holiday or can’t stop yourself from interrupting the couple in front of you in the miles long line at the grocery store, we’ve got you covered on some key subjects. Maybe if you repeat them enough times, someone will start to believe you!
According to the Institute on Taxation and Economic Policy, the richest 5% of households will receive 61% of the tax cuts in 2027 under the House plan. The individual tax cuts all sunset in 2027, while the corporate tax cuts are permanent.
Repealing the individual insurance mandate could result in premiums rising by as much as 10% and will kick 13 million people off their insurance.
The Senate and the House bills agree on the central goal of tax reform — cutting the corporate tax rate. They just disagree on how to pay for it — and it will cost upwards of $1.3 trillion over ten years.
The GOP Tax Reform plan makes foreign income tax free for U.S companies.
“About 75% of the savings would go to businesses, thanks to a reduction of the corporate rate to 20% from 35%, and other changes. Individuals would enjoy the other 25%, with large tax cuts for the wealthy and less accruing to the middle class.” In fact, 11 million Americans would actually see their taxes go up immediately, and half of all Americans will see them go up over time. (Source)
Honestly if anyone brings up Uranium One at your Thanksgiving table, you might be shit out of luck. They may be lost. But show them Shep Smith debunking it if you can. It’s got the Fox News logo in the corner and everything. It’s very soothing.
Okay fine, you want facts? We’ll give you some facts. But we’re not going to spend much time on this because it’s ridiculous. Basically, Uranium One was a Canadian company with control over about 20% of US uranium extraction capacity. In 2007, while Hillary Clinton was running for president, a donor to the Clinton Foundation sold his company, UrAsia, in a merger with Uranium One. In 2010 Uranium one was bought by Russia’s nuclear energy agency, Rostrom.
Because this deal involved the purchase of ownership stake in US companies by a foreign entity, the Committee on Foreign Investment in the United States (CFIUS) and the U.S. Nuclear Regulatory Commission approved the deal. In fact 9 entities approved the deal and no evidence suggests that Hillary Clinton was personally involved. Also, Russia cannot export any of the Uranium it extracts. Also, this is a TOTALLY NORMAL THING THAT HAPPENS.
Ugh we’ve already spent too much time on this. Stop playing their game, Sheeple! If this comes up, just remember indictment day, and smile.
Black Americans are 2.5 times more likely to be killed by police than White Americans. While there are more white Americans killed by police numerically, it’s a useless statistic unless you adjust for population.
In 2015, racial minorities made up approximately 37.4% of the population — and 46.6% of armed and unarmed victims in police killings. Racial minorities made up 62.7% of unarmed people killed by police overall.
In 2016, at least 233 black Americans were shot and killed by police.
In 2016, there were at least 458 deaths from police shootings in the United States. There were 8 in Germany and 0 in Japan and Great Britain.
On average, 93 people are killed by a gun per day in the United States.
America has 4.4 percent of the world’s population, but almost half of the civilian-owned guns around the world.
3% of Americans own half of the guns in the US.
When a gun is present in a domestic violence situation, a woman is five times more likely to be killed.
States with more guns report more suicides.
States with higher rates of gun ownership also have higher rates of gun deaths.
If someone mentions Chicago, just remind them that there are no gun stores in the city of Chicago, and that while Illinois has strict gun laws, Indiana does not, and no one checks the truck of your car when you drive across state lines.
Undocumented Americans pay $11.64 billion annually in state and local taxes.
Undocumented Americans pay $12 billion annually to the Social Security Trust Fund.
From 2009 to 2014, 1 million Mexicans and their families (including U.S.-born children) left the U.S. for Mexico. U.S. census data for the same period show an estimated 870,000 Mexican nationals left Mexico to come to the U.S.
Immigrants are less likely to commit crimes, and be incarcerated, than the native born population.
The Center for American Progress estimated that the U.S. would lose about $460 billion in GDP over the next 10 years without DACA.
After getting DACA, nearly 80 percent of respondents said they got driver’s licenses. About half became organ donors.
A word of warning: this can be an exhausting fight to have, especially if you’re a survivor of sexual violence. Take care of yourselves, friends. Head over to our self care guide if you need some suggestions.
Downloadable version coming soon!
What the hell is going on?
I’ve lost count of the number of prominent men who have had sexual assault and misconduct allegations come out in recent weeks. It’s been slowly simmering for the past year or so (and truthfully, even longer), but suddenly, we’ve hit a rolling boil and invariably, people are choosing to ignore all evidence to the contrary and believe abusers and assaulters. Following the accusations against Harvey Weinstein on October 5, the New York Times has been compiling a list of men with allegations against them and the fallout from each. It’s extensive, and yet specifically doesn’t include men for whom there has been little or no fallout.
So how are we defining assault?
Truthfully, we tend to use “sexual assault” to include a lot of things it doesn’t necessarily include in a legal sense. If you’re going to be diving into this around the dinner table, it’s important to be precise. Sexual misconduct is the umbrella term that encompasses a whole host of shitbaggery:
Sexual assault, which typically involves unwanted physical contact or coercion, manipulation, or force to make someone engage in unwanted physical contact
Sexual harassment, a form of discrimination against a person, that is believed by the victim to carry consequences if they don’t submit to the behavior
Sexual exploitation, which involves nonconsensual, unjust, or abusive sexual advantage, including recording or photographing a person without their knowledge, voyeurism, trafficking, and more
Sexual intimidation, including threatening sexual violence against a person, engaging in indecent exposure, and more
If you’re looking for more details on types of sexual violence, RAINN is a fantastic resource. Sexual misconduct runs the gamut, but most importantly, it is never, never the victim’s fault, no matter what they’re wearing, how much they had to drink, or whatever reason people have settled on to brush away serious crimes.
Why should we care?
An American is sexually assaulted every 98 seconds. Victims face backlash and criticism on many fronts, leading many to not report their assaults. And as if that wasn’t bad enough, in September, the Department of Education rolled back Obama era guidelines on how school campuses should handle accusations of sexual misconduct, raising the level of evidence needed for campus justice systems to hold students responsible.
As accusations continue to come out, one thing is continually made clear. This isn’t a political issue. Abusers are everywhere across the political spectrum, because sexual misconduct and violence is about one thing: power.
We care about this because sexual violence shouldn’t be about the sexual part, but about the violence.
We care because assaulters are given the benefit of the doubt while victims are told they’re making it up or are taking back their consent after the fact or should just take a compliment.
We care because Brock Turner is back living his life, because there are 16 women who have accused the president of sexual assault, because #MeToo started 10 years ago and is still going strong.
What’s my conservative relative going to say?
Glad you asked! Here’s a list of some likely comments and response suggestions.
Them: “I’m so sad about [insert public figure here]. I love their movies/tv shows/music/politics.” You: “I understand. It’s hard when someone we admire turns out to not be as great as we thought. Their work is still great, but it’s hard for me to support them now that other people have come forward about their experiences.” Them: “But do we really know?” You: “I choose to believe victims. The rate of false accusations is somewhere between 2% and 10%, which means that the rate of real accusations is 90%-98%.”
Them: “His life is ruined now.” You: “Yes. It’s unfortunate that so many people have had similar experiences with him. He used his position of power to influence people in a terrible way, and now he’s having to live with the consequences for his actions.”
Them: “You’re innocent until proven guilty in this country, and none of them have been found guilty.” You: “Our courts do operate on the presumption of innocence, which is definitely a good thing. But that just applies to the government. The public isn’t under obligation to believe someone is innocent until the courts have found them guilty.”
Them: “Even if it happened, it was years ago. Why come forward now??” You: “Often, it takes victims a lot of time to come to terms with what they experienced. They may not want to talk about it at the time because they’re young or feel unsafe doing so or fear they won’t be believed. There may be no legal recourse for someone who was abused many years ago, but they may feel like they need to speak about their experiences to keep it from happening to other people. The tides suddenly felt like they were turning after the Harvey Weinstein allegations and many victims finally felt safer coming forward about their own experiences.”
Them: “But Bill Clinton!” You: “Yep. We probably fucked that one up, but we’re learning and getting better. Sexual misconduct definitely isn’t limited to just one political party.”
Them: “Men are assaulted too! OR Them: “Women assault people too!” You: “You’re right. Our current statistics are more accurate for victims who are women because men are even less likely to report sexual violence. Society places a heavy stigma on victims who are men, and we should be more supportive of all victims.
Them: “Oh please, that’s not assault! That’s just a compliment!” You: “Please never compliment me that way. It may not be assault, but it’s definitely misconduct.”
Them: “It’s all a liberal media conspiracy to keep Roy Moore from office.” You: “It’s not. There’s a strong pattern of behavior. He was banned from a shopping mall in the 80’s. A former Alabama deputy state attorney said it was common knowledge that he dated high school girls. As of November 16, eight women have publicly shared their experiences about Roy Moore.” Them: “Whatever. It’s better to elect a pedophile than a Democrat.” You: Just take your plate and leave the table. It’s not worth it at this point.
We don’t know about you all, but our holidays were filled with fraught political exchanges long before Trump got elected. Whether it was your uncle telling you that you’d be a Republican as soon as you started making your own money, or a cousin who pulled out the dreaded third party voter argument, the holidays have always been fraught with political drama.
As with all things in the Trump era, it’s gotten remarkably worse. So we at the Nevertheless Project have put together some guides for you this holiday season. Whether you need some self-care tips to get you through a marathon of family events, or you’ve zeroed in on your target and you’re going to convince them you’re right if you have to use a literal pie (chart) to do it we’ve got you covered. Save this link! We’ll be updating it as we finish each new holiday guide. Got any tips of your own you’d like to share? Hit us up on twitter @NeverthelessPrj.
So You Want to Fight About Taxes? — as Jon Lovett said, it’s not a tax bill, it’s a heist. Here’s a rundown of the current legislation, and a quick one sheet you can download if you’re traveling to one of those terrible places without cell service.
A Guide to Fighting About Sexual Misconduct — With the relentless revelations about sexual misconduct an almost daily occurrence, this is bound to come up. We’ve got you covered with tips to talk about this hard topic compassionately and accurately.
Quick Facts for Your Holiday Mic Drop — Sometimes you want to have it out, and sometimes you want to stand up with your plate, and just before you leave the table to go get more mashed potatoes, remind your relatives that just 3% of Americans own half the guns in the U.S. We’ve got you covered.
Need something not listed here? Check out our Lessons in Politics in case you get some process questions, or our archive for some background on things like immigration and healthcare.
ICYMI: The NFL has been a controversial topic as of late. Here’s your resistance brief to help you get through the holiday season with relatives who, well, don’t understand the issues.
You can download the full brief here — or you can download a one page brief here. If you think this will be a topic of conversation over turkey, we suggest saving it as your lock screen or as a web app on the main page of your phone!
Be kind, rewind. What happened?
During the 2016–2017 NFL season, Colin Kaepernick began sitting out the national anthem, and then kneeling while everyone else stood, to protest the oppression of people of color in the United States. In the beginning, his protests did not gain much media attention. He would simply sit on the bench during the National Anthem. He received some backlash for sitting, as that was considered disrespectful to the symbolism of the American flag. Kaepernick consulted veterans on how to show respect for the flag while also protesting, which is why he began to kneel instead of sit out the anthem. He was very aware of his actions, and he continued his protests throughout the season.
Other football players joined Kaepernick’s protest during the 2016–2017 season, kneeling in solidarity and to protest the same issue — police brutality. Eric Reid, a fellow 49er, joined Kaepernick in kneeling during the anthem on September 1, 2016. That same day, Jeremy Lane of the Seattle Seahawks sat out the anthem. He was the first non-teammate of Kaepernick’s to join the protest. On September 9, 2016, Brandon Marshall, a linebacker for the Denver Broncos, took a knee during the anthem. He was the first to do so at a NFL regular season opening game. When asked why he did it, Marshall responded “I’m not against the military. I’m not against the police or America, I’m against social injustice.”
As the season went on, more players protested along with Kaepernick:
Arian Foster, Michael Thomas, Kenny Stills, and Jelani Jenkis of the Miami Dolphins knelt. When asked about his protest, Arian Foster said “don’t let the love for a symbol overrule the love for your fellow human.”
The entire Seahawks team linked arms during the anthem on September 11, 2016.
The players of the Kansas Chiefs also linked arms, with Marcus Peters holding up a fist.
Martellus Bennett and Devin McCourty of the New England Patriots raised fists in solidarity.
Eric Reid again knelt with Kaepernick while teammates Eli Harold and Antoine Bethea raised their fists. Rams players Robert Quinn and Kenny Britt also held fists in the air.
As the season went on, there were continued protests from players who had done it in the previous weeks and new ones: Antoine Bethea, Eli Harold, Jaquiski Tartt, Rashard Robinson, Arian Foster, Michael Thomas, Kenny Stills Steven Means, Ron Brooks, Marcus Smith, and Duane Brown.
It is also important to note that many other athletes across the sports realm participated in this protest during the 2016–2017 season: Megan Rapinoe of the USA Women’s Soccer team; a Howard University cheerleader; the entire Indiana Fever team; two Phoenix Mercury players; the Rockets, Knicks, and Celtics; and a plethora of high school and college football teams and marching bands. A handful of other players gave public statements of support towards Kaepernick’s protest, but said they themselves would not kneel.
When Kaepernick began his protest, the 49ners, the team Kaepernick played for, released the following statement: “The national anthem is and always will be a special part of the pre-game ceremony. It is an opportunity to honor our country and reflect on the great liberties we are afforded as its citizens. In respecting such American principles as freedom of religion and freedom of expression, we recognize the right of an individual to choose and participate, or not, in our celebration of the national anthem.”
Arguably, it’s a great statement. It appears that the 49ers supported Kaepernick’s protest — and they definitely didn’t stop him from protesting during the National Anthem. However, after the 206–2017 season, Kaepernick was left without a contract for the upcoming season, likely because of how outspoken he was politically and how that collided with football. Yes, it’s strange he didn’t get an offer from a team this season — he’s a damn good quarterback. In October 2018, Kaepernick filed a grievance against the NFL, arguing that all thirty-two teams colluded against him in order to keep him out of the league this season.
Okay, but something happened in the last few months, right?
Yes. Donald Trump tweeted grossly inappropriate, derogatory comments about NFL players — and they responded by continuing Kaepernick’s protest and knelt during the national anthem. Many players and teams knelt, locked arms, or sat out of the national anthem entirely the first weekend after Trump’s tweets. Some players have continued the protest, others have resumed “normal conduct.”
However, this action brought light on not only the protest of the NFL players, but that over half a dozen NFL team owners contributed to Trump’s campaign and/or inauguration. NFL players have been told not to be political, to let “football be football,” but their team’s owner can demonstrate their politics with their money and face no repercussions the way the players do. Some players spoke out about this, including Michael Thomas of the Miami Dolphins who tweeted “Continue to use your voices and your platforms for racial equality and to stop injustices in our communities. This is bigger than us!!!”
Despite the illusion of the protests dying down, Donald Trump continues to tweet about the NFL, attempting to antagonize players and fans alike.
What exactly was Kaepernick protesting?
In Kaepernick’s own words, he said, “I am not going to stand up to show pride in a flag for a country that oppresses black people and people of color. To me, this is bigger than football and it would be selfish on my part to look the other way. There are bodies in the street and people getting paid leave and getting away with murder.”
Police brutality is not new to American history. It’s been around for a long time and there is a demonstrated racial disparity in how police use force in the United States. If you are black, are much more likely to be shot by the police than your white peers — 2.5 times more likely, in fact. According to Vox, 31% of police killing victims in 2012 were black — and this data is not even complete because it’s made up of voluntary reports from police departments and agencies in the United States. The rate at which black people are killed by police is disproportionate to the population, achieving the highest ratio between population and people killed by the police.
The Guardian also published statistics that show the racial divide of police brutality. In 2015, racial minorities made up approximately 37.4% of the population — and 46.6% of armed and unarmed victims in police killings. Racial minorities made up 62.7% of unarmed people killed by police overall. In 2016, at least 233 black Americans were shot and killed by police.
Black people are also more likely to be arrested for drugs and make up a significant portion of the prison population.
America has the most aggressive police force in the world — and as result, has the highest rate of police shooting and killing the citizens of their country, the same people they are supposed to be protecting. In 2016, there were at least 458 deaths from police shootings in the United States. There were 8 in Germany and 0 in Japan and Great Britain. Research suggests that the higher rate of violence is a result of gun ownership. Americans own the most guns of any other country — and research shows that more guns lead to more gun violence.
It doesn’t help that the federal government has assisted in the militarization of police forces around the country. Local police forces have been given military grade equipment (with little to no training) to help with the “war on drugs” and the “war on terror.” The equipment cost local police forces almost nothing thanks to the 1033 program, which allows for the transfer of surplus military equipment from the Department of Defense to police forces. After the police in Ferguson, MO used military-grade equipment on peaceful protesters after the killing of Michael Brown, the Obama administration imposed restrictions on this passing of equipment — including banning certain weapons. (Trump then lessened the restrictions when he took office.) But obviously, this is not enough.
William Pretzer, a senior history curator at the Smithsonian National Museum of African American History and Culture, recently said “what we see [today] is a continuation of an unequal relationship that has been exacerbated, made worse if you will, by the militarization and the increase in fire power of police forces around the country.”
Kaepernick was protesting all of the above and more. He was protesting police brutality and the institutional, systemic racism that permeates American society. He took a stand for his beliefs and what is just for our country — and it has caught national attention.
Okay, but what about how he protested? Is it constitutional?
Yes, kneeling during the national anthem is constitutional. It is protected under the First Amendment’s freedom of speech and freedom of assembly — and the penumbra (or rights derived from other rights in the Bill of Rights) rights determined by the Supreme Court. A handful of older Supreme Court Cases — Gitlow v. New York, Brandreth v. Lance, Respublica v. Montgomery, and People v. Croswell — laid the foundation for the concept of “speech plus conduct,” protecting the freedom of expression, even though it is not explicitly stated in the Bill of Rights.
In the twentieth century, the Supreme Court has upheld the protection of “speech plus conduct” through United States v. O’Brien, Tinker v. Des Moines, and Spencer v. Washington. These three cases evaluate symbolic speech in connection to protest in America. O’Brien dealt with the constitutionality of burning your draft card (in this case, the government interest of fighting a war superseded any First Amendment claim). Tinker found that wearing armbands in protest of the Vietnam War was protected speech as the issue cited was with the armbands, not the content of the protest. In Spencer, the Court found that you could modify an American flag if your message was clearly communicated. Huzzah, symbolic speech is constitutional.
Two cases arose in the twentieth century that specifically dealt with flag desecration: Street v. New York and Texas v. Johnson. In Street, a veteran was indicted for burning an American flag in protest of the death of James Meredith’s, a civil rights activist. The Court found that the government did not have a sufficient interest in the burning of the flag in these circumstances, and therefore he was wrongly indicted. Johnson looks at the burning of the American flag for political protest. The Court found that the First Amendment protects conduct and determined the message (anti-Reagan sentiments) was clearly communicated through the burning of the flag — and the Court determined that the state government did not have the power to designate symbols, as they cannot determine that the people cannot disagree with them. Huzzah, symbolic speech against the American flag is constitutional.
What does all this mean? It means you can protest the American flag, the national anthem, any symbol of America. Hell, you can protest AMERICA if you so choose. So long as your message is clear and you are not harming another human being, you have symbolic speech. This makes Kaepernick’s protest constitutional and a valid method of protest. As a reminder, protests are supposed to make you uncomfortable and question the status quo.
Want to read more about this? Click here to read my detailed argument in favor of protesting American symbols.
Great, but what will my NFL-loving uncle say?
Well, there are a handful of things your relatives could say about this — and some potential responses for you to use in return! We used “NFL-loving uncle” here, but any relative will suffice.
NFL-loving uncle: Can we just leave politics off the football field? YOU, Option 1: Sure, once the team owners stop demonstrating their political allegiance monetarily — or writing letters to Congress on team letterhead recommending the confirmation of Trump’s nominees. YOU, Option 2: It’s hard to keep politics off the football field when the players are protesting systematic racism… and the NFL is overwhelmingly made up of black men. Over 66% of players are black! If you want to keep politics off the field, there won’t be a field to watch. YOU, Option 3: Sure, as soon as Donald Trump stops tweeting.
NFL-loving uncle: Protesting the national anthem is unconstitutional! Trump is right, they should be removed from the teams. YOU: Actually, protesting the national anthem, and any other American symbol, is constitutional! It’s covered by the First Amendment’s protection of freedom of express or symbolic speech. “Speech” can be more than just words, it can also be actions!
NFL-loving uncle: These people kneeling during the national anthem is disrespectful to our troops! YOU: Actually, Colin Kaepernick consulted with veterans about his protest. He started the protest sitting and the veterans actually said he should kneel instead, as that still shows respect for the flag. When a player is injured, you’re supposed to kneel to show respect to them in their time of need. Well, our country is in need and the players kneeling during the anthem are showing respect to it through their protest.
NFL-loving uncle: Their reason for protesting is dumb — police brutality is not a problem in America! We’re the greatest country! YOU, Option 1: Actually, it’s been a problem since our country was founded, but it has gotten worse since the federal government has allowed local police forces to have military-grade weapons! In 2016, at least 233 black people were shot and killed by police. YOU, Option 2: *throw an American history book at them*
TALKING POINTS
Colin Kaepernick began his protest during the 2016–2017 NFL season. He started out sitting, consulted with some veterans, and altered his protest to kneeling during the national anthem. He was protesting police brutality in America.
During the 2016–2017 NFL season, a number of other NFL players joined Kaepernick’s protest. While it gained media attention at the time, it was largely forgotten about until Trump started tweeting about the protests in the beginning of the 2017–2018 season.
In September 2017, there was a massive kneeling/locking arms/sitting out the national anthem protest in response to Donald Trump’s tweets. The media called the protest a reaction to Donald Trump, and to some it may have been. However, the intent was to carry on Kaepernick’s protest of police brutality, which disproportionately impacts black people.
Police brutality is a problem in America, and it has been since our founding. Black Americans are 2.5 times more likely to be shot by the police alone. In 2016, 233+ black people were shot and killed by the police. While more white people are killed by police in a given year (per statistics, but those are fuzzy in the first place), the *proportion* of killings of black Americans is what’s astounding.
Kaepernick’s protest is constitutional! It’s covered by the First Amendment’s protection of freedom of speech and freedom of expression. Case law supports “symbolic” or “conduct” speech, which is what a demonstration and protest like this is.
It’s not disrespectful to the flag, per veterans. It’s a gesture showing support.
Protests are supposed to make you uncomfortable. They’re supposed to make you think and reevaluate the status quo.
TNP-TEMP 